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It’s My Life

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Hooray! Happy April Fools 2013 everyone! As if Jonbot Vs Martha would EVER come back. Ho ho ho!

For reference, here’s last year’s attempt and here’s the strip they’re both based on.


If You Love Something, Set It Yadda Yadda Yadda

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It’s Time To Party

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This Is The Way We End the World, End the World, End the World

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Colin: Christmas special starts next week! Get ready to get festive as F.

In the meantime, why not check out friend of the show Steve Morris’ Stardark City? It’s a webcomic about some stuff of some note!


Future Tense

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Colin: Check out Neil’s splashes of colour in the future scenes – someone’s being watching Schindler’s Liiiiiist!

But that’s not all Neil’s been doing! He’s only went and done another travelogue comic, and you can MAKE SOMEONE’S CHRISTMAS by buying it now! It’s called Seven Days in Berlin. My favourite bit is where Neil tears down the wall and reunites the East and West bits of the city in the book’s emotive finale.

You can buy it at Neil’s Etsy here, where he’s also doing a deal where you can by the prequel Nine Lines of Metro with it in a kind of bundle deal. They’re both tops! Go buy!

http://img2.etsystatic.com/008/0/5622702/il_fullxfull.399421270_8ui1.jpg

AGAIN, HERE IS NEIL’S ETSY STORE

Also this week, Team Jonbot were out at Team Team Girl Comic’s launch of their cracking sixth issue, after which we went to Vespbar for Shambles Miller’s Sunday open mic night. And what did he play? ONLY THE JONBOT VS MARTHA THEME TUNE! Look:

That’s quite an update! More next week as we trudge towards our second CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!


Things Keep Happening

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Actually Literally Back to the Drawing Board

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My Dinner With Jonbot

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Colin: So this is a bit of a game-changing revelation, right? That’s what people want from comics, right? Consequence? Hmmmm?

I’ve no idea where this is going. Come back next week, when hopefully we’ll have a colourist and I can stop google imaging our backgrounds.


A Phoney Kind of Love

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Colin: Pray silence everyone, for the first ever JVsM to be late. We’re sorry!

MAL:COM the phone first appeared way back in Episode 28, where he was swiftly not worked into any ongoing storylines for a year. We had plans for him though, honest.

I coloured this one. In other news, we’re looking for a colourist to join the team. Hit us up yo.


Trick Or Trite

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Neil:  MAKE YOUR VERY OWN JONBOT HEAD.

You will need!
 Scissors! Glue! A box! A polystyrene ball! Paint!
 Step 1: Paint your box grey!
 Step 2: Get your polystyrene ball (or anything else you can find) and chop it in two! Chop!
 Step 3: Paint the polystyrene yellow and stick them to your box!
 Step 4: draw a mouth on card, stick that on too!
 Step 5: Pretend to be a robot!


21 Years Earlier

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Colin: I’ve never watched Real Steel, but I feel I’ve given it a damn good approximation here.

Last week’s strip seemed to go down stupidly well, so in true Jonbot Vs Martha fashion we’ve completely ignored what the public want and dialled it back to the present day, as we find out just what happened to turn eight year old Sarah Bott into a badass future resistance fighter. But with laffs! Should be fun.

We missed Ask Jonbot this week, my fault, sorry. But keep your questions coming in for it! Head over to the Facebook page and ask away.


It’s Nothing Personal

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Ask Jonbot #1: “Bar the Blender”

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Colin: So this is a thing now. Every Friday Jonbot will answer questions posed to him by you, the readers! Want to get involved? Head over to the Facebook page and ask away! We’re back on Monday with more Season Two goodness!


Jonbot and Martha Are Getting Along Now

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Colin: Normal service has been resumed.

Hey, hi everyone! We missed you! Did you miss us? Fine, be like that.

Season Two is underway! You won’t believe what we’ve got planned… in fact, even I find it hard to believe that we HAVE anything planned. What I do know we ARE doing though is our new Friday feature “ASK JONBOT!

Do you have any of the following?

  • A problem best addressed by an Agony Aunt
  • A question about the strip
  • A question about anything in general
  • A comment, more than a question

Then we want to hear from you! Every Friday Jonbot will be answering one lucky reader’s questions in a strip – all you have to do is head over to the Jonbot Vs Martha Facebook page and ask a question in the thread that will be set up! We look forward to hearing from you.

Also: Neil has a new Facebook page! Go like it!


SEASON TWO BEGINS TOMORROW

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Colin: Season Two of Jonbot Vs Martha begins… TOMORROW! After last week’s strip, we didn’t have much choice. People were forgetting us. People forgot to be afraid.

A strip ONE WHOLE MONTH, our BIGGEST STRIP EVER, kicks off tomorrow. Or, if you’re reading this as it’s posted, in about three hours. See you then!


GUEST STRIP! John Lees & Garry McLaughlin

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Colin: The last of our guest strips, everyone! Probably just as well…

Neil: Sorry Colin, I didn’t mean to go all Bane on you.

Colin: Wevs Neil! Today’s strip comes courtesy of John Lees, writer of the highly-recommended The Standard, and Garry McLaughlin, Taking Flight artist and Gonzo Cosmic creator. Together they’re both working on the upcoming Black Leaf, which promises to be a stoater of a comic. Based on this strip, they’re also a pair of total fucking bullies. I digress!

Here’s some FANART:

Here’s Jonbot rendered all 3D and that by James Fairlie:

And courtesy of Black Hearted Press co-founder and all-round swell gent Sha Nazir, here’s Jonbot meeting Sha’s own Laptop Guy:

Thanks gents! And thanks to all our guest creative teams over the past month. It’s been emotional.

We’re back proper on Monday with the start of the BIGGEREST Jonbot Vs Martha story to date, with a beginning so explosive you’re going to need explosion repellent, unless you enjoy explosions. Kapow! Keep your eyes peeled though, because there may be more happening BEFORE that. Probably on Friday.


GUEST STRIP! John Grieve

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Colin: Thanks to John Grieve for today’s contribution! It’s lyrical, yo!

Neil: John’s rhymes are the dimes of the times.

Colin: Tru dat! Join us again on Monday for the FINAL of our Guest Strips. Can you believe it’s been a month already? I’ve completely wasted this time off.


GUEST STRIP! Sam Read & Xander Myles

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Colin: JOOOOOOOOOONBOOOOOOOOOOT INTOOOOOO MYSTERRRRRYYYYYYYY!

This week sees the strip in the reliable hands of fellow Glasgow League of Writers alumni, OK Comics comics-pimp  and all round top cat Sam Read, and the art-tastic Xander Myles. I’m a big fan of all the little details Samander (that’s their name as a creative collective) managed to cram in to this one. Thanks for stepping in gents!

If you’re one of the bajillions of Monday-faithful Jonbot readers, you may have missed our going twice-a-week with this little gem of a guest strip on Friday. We roll on Fridays now also. Fridays are cool.

You know what else is cool? Norwegian Black Metal. Look:

Craig Collins

Thanks to the black-hearted master of mirthful macabre Craig Collins for that! It’s been added to the gallery, which has now been update for your viewing pleasure.

See you on Friday for a lyrical odyssey from John Grieve!


GUEST STRIP! Matthew Meylikhov & Jess Graham

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Colin: As long as JVsM has been going, people have asked me “just what is it that Jonbot does for a living?”. Well, now thanks to my Detective Space Cat co-writer and Multiversity Comics-editing chum Matt Meylikhov and his partner-in-crime Jess Graham, the truth finally stands revealed.

He’s what the kids call a “Skrillex”.

I did NOT see that coming.

Come back on Monday as Sam Read and Xander Myles take us on a Journey Into Jonbot!


GUEST STRIP! Gill Hatcher

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Colin: This week Neil and I were honoured – HONOURED! – to host Gill Hatcher, founder and editor of Team Girl Comic and all-round super cartoonist talent.

Neil: It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Gill has given Martha the love she has always deserved. If she did a spin-off the world would be a better place.

Colin: Too true, Neil! Legally however I’m obliged to point out that if she did, we would own say… 80% of it? Thanks Gill!

It’s been a busy week here at Jonbot Mansions – so busy I’m going to have to use bulletpoints to illustrate what’s gone down:

  • Top pop-culture website Geek Syndicate kicked off their Autumn of Indie with an interview between me and reporter Sara Westrop. It’s a decent wee chat, encompassing the secret origin of the comic and theme tune chat. See if you can spot the numerous PR fails I made throughout!
  • Jonbot Vs Martha #1 (the comic we produced for Glasgow Comic Con) is now available to buy for £3 (includes UK postage). Head over to our shop to snag a copy – limited stock remain!
  • Aaaaaand this happened:

So look forward to the word “fucksocks” creeping into the vernacular of the residents of Hong Kong in due course. Wow.

Good news everyone! From here on out, we’ll be showcasing guest strips at a rate of two a week! Come back on FRIDAY as Matthew Meylikhov and Jess Graham finally reveal Jonbot’s secret profession!


GUEST STRIP! Taylor Pithers and Hop Fences

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Colin: Hey! It’s week two of Colin and Neil’s month off from Jonbot Vs Martha! We’re just telling you that because last Monday’s strip was our busiest Monday ever, like you guys had rushed round to see what new strip me and Neil had done and forgotten we weren’t here… yeah, I’m sure that’s it.

Today’s wonderful guest strip comes courtesy of the writing talents of the formidable Taylor Pithers. Taylor currently holds court of at The Weekly Crisis with his Trade Waiting column, which comes highly recommended. Likewise I endorse Taylor himself. Super chap. Ably assisting Mr Pithers is the inimitable Hop Fences, an artist carving out a fine niche with his own comics, some of which you can see herethis one‘s a belter.

Thanks guys! We’ll be back next Monday with our next guest strip – I’ve a feeling there may be a Jonbot interview going live somewhere this week, but more on this as it happens.


GUEST STRIP – Ryan K Lindsay & Mike Perry

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Colin: It’s the first of our month of guest strips! We start with a What-If?-type affair courtesy of writer Ryan K Lindsay and artist Mike Perry.

We were fortunate to nab both gentlemen for their contribution, Ryan in particular because he’s busy carving out a niche as The Busiest Man in Comics – you can catch Quantum Immortality, his contribution to the world of Kurtis Weibe and Riley Rossmo’s Green Wake here, catch his contributions to the THE PROCESS podcast here over on Image Addiction, marvel at his upcoming SequArt book of Daredevil essays, or generally catch him over on his Tumblr. Or even tweet him here and let him know what you thought of this strip! He’s waiting for your feedback!

Mike is responsible for the recommended fantasy webcomic No Dice, which you can find here. Check it out!

Thanks for joining guys! Come back next week when our next guest team takes the stage!


Epilogue

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Colin: Here endeth the first Jonbot Vs Martha epic. Hooray! We hoped you like it.

There’s a few items of business to get through – we’ve got the results of our art competition further down the page, but first of all it’s our First Birthday, so we’re obliged to play this:

To commemorate our first birthday, here’s me and Neil having a chat:

THE JONBOT VS MARTHA YEAR ONE EXIT INTERVIEW

Colin: So, Neil! It’s been one year since the very first Jonbot Vs Martha hit the internet. Congratulations!

Neil: Thank you and congratulations to you too. Now we’re a year in I have to ask, why me?

C: Purely selfish reasons. At the time I’d been a fan of your stuff for a while, and then we’d kind of become internet pals and I wanted to see what a NEIL SLORANCE webcomic would look like.

N: Actually before I got your ridiculously long email I’d done very little in the way of comics, and yea it was a slow start, I mind rulering and inking my own panels first then lettering it by hand before you went all George Lucas. I’ve actually never thought to ask but where do these scripts come from? What goes on in that there head?

C: I’m glad you appreciate that I took the burden of lettering of you.

As for where the scripts come from… I’ve explained this elsewhere before, but I had the idea of me and you doing a webcomic together before we came up with the idea of Jonbot Vs Martha, which was specifically tailored to suit your uncanny ability of drawing robots and eliciting heart-wrenching poignancy with a few pencil-strokes. So, originally there was no real long-term plan for the strip – I think I’d pitched it to you as a weekly sitcom where Jon and Martha would just bicker, with one of them getting the upper hand one week and then the roles would reverse the next. It was just meant to be a spiteful, possibly nihilistic gag-of-the-week kind of affair.

Then I think when we decided that Jon and Martha had a kid, it humanised the whole thing and I couldn’t justifiably have these two characters fucking each other over every week when there was a child involved. I’M NOT A COMPLETE BASTARD NEIL.

*Realises this isn’t answering the question…*

I guess the scripts are informed by a few things - Firstly, “what would Neil like to draw?” because I got to keep you sweet. The whole storyline we just finished was born out of you wanting to draw Jonbot as a power-loader from Aliens. Secondly, “what makes me laugh?” Normally, if it amuses me, then it goes in the script and I hope other people find it funny too. This doesn’t always work though – see the strips “Robot Pub” and “When Topicality Attacks” for more, anti-humour fans!

N: I have to say you are a very considerate writer and in the nicest way pushed me as a comic artist. Just look at the first strip compared to all the powerloader stuff. I’m trying not to toot my own horn but you can see there’s mad progress all up in that grill. And yeah ‘When Topicality Attacks’ was horrendous.

C: I’m not proud of it. I think there was a bit of deadline fatigue seeping in around that time. We should probably just delete it from the internet.

N: Nah, I’m quite proud that I managed to draw a monkey in a bacon tuxedo mounted on a robot unicorn. It’s all about challenging yourself, someone famous probably said that sometime.

C: You’ve definitely bettered yourself as we went along. I remember the first time you decided to shade in a strip (“Interlude“) and we started getting really enthusiastic feedback focussing on your art. That was all off your own back – I didn’t know you were doing it till I received the strip. What prompted you to change up the aesthetic of the strip that particular week?

N: I had a bit more free time that week? I’m not sure actually, I think at that time I was really buzzed up on comics and wanted to see what would happen if I put a bit more effort in and the feedback really helped so I did my best to keep it up. Although nowadays a strip can take between 6 to 8 hours but fuck it.

Actually on that note I’m a bit burnt out and I’d like to put in some holiday time please thanks Colin.

C: Jeez, what a spontaneous request that I’m unprepared for. If only I had four weeks of top-drawer guest strips lined up! OH WAIT I DO. What are you going to do with your month off?

N: I’m going to work on my illustrated biography of Lonesome George: the world’s most famous tortoise. It’s pretty much what I was put on this earth to do. And you?

C: I’m going to practice my drawing in preparation for the inevitable day when you decide to leave me.

N: Well here’s to another year. Before we wrap this up, any favourite bits from the Jonbot rollercoaster?

C: There’s a few – getting that first strip from you was always a highpoint (even if you did hand-letter it), and then just watching you turn in progressively more detailed work. It’s been good fun. Also I’d be remiss not to mention the acknowledgement from our peers at this year’s SICBA Awards, where we had a clean sweep of losses.

Oh, and that time I made Jonbot do a robocough. That will always be my favourite line of anything I ever do ever. You?

N: Wowzers, for me I guess seeing the characters evolve, the strip when Jonbot remembers who Sarah is really hit that this was actually an involing and fairly emotional story as well as funny. Apart from that it was cool turning up at Glasgow Comic Con and talking to readers and signing books etc, to be honest I wasn’t sure that many people read it beforehand.

C: But they do! People read it! They tweet me!

N: Actually yesterday I found out the guy across the street from me reads it. My dinner’s ready can I get going?

C: Why are you eating dinner at 2235?

N: That’s just how my life’s turned out.

C: Alright. Any final messages for the throngs of Jonbot fans out there?

N: The past year has been a pleasure, thank you.

C: I echo this sentiment. A special thanks to anyone who’s got in touch to tell us what they think about the strip, good or bad. You’re all swell. We’ll be back in a month with PHASE TWO!

THE JONBOT VS MARTHA ART GIVEAWAY COMPETITION RESULTS!

Colin: Regular readers will recall that in our 50th strip we asked for readers to send us in some JVsM-themed art for the chance to win some Neil Slorance original artwork. We were inundated with entries! Let’s rifle through the mailbag and pick a winner, Neil!

Neil: Play this music please!

Colin: First up we have this entry from young Campbell Miller, with his take on an EVIL JONBOT. Sadly, his entry came 24 hours after the clearly indicated deadline, thus meaning his entry is excluded from the competition. Shame!

Neil: This doozey comes from Wull Swales, I’m a big fan of the starry night background and the suggestive eyebrows. Well done, have a logical gold star.

Colin: Here’s an avuncular Dr Eisenriese from our Twitpal Bellsybell! Good use of perspective and suggestive question marks here.

Neil: Is it weird that this looks like I did it? Actually I didn’t but Scott Fox did and I love that Beastie Boys song so well done! Have 100 internet points.

Colin: Detective Space Cat creator Matthew Meylikhov drew Officer Meylikhov in a bid to promote Detective Space Cat and get me to say Meylikhov three times, at which point he shall appear like Candyman and kill us all!

Neil: This comes from Xander Mackenzie. I like this detective look, and that scar. He looks so deep, so tortured, so misunderstood. Reminds me a bit of Detective Space Cat? Great work, have a happy stamp.

Colin: “Jovial” John Grieve has sent in this wonderful role-reversal Marthabot Vs Jon pin-up, with such dedication that he’s recreated the logo by hand when I would’ve done it for him for only a few pounds. Thanks John!

Colin: Gonzo Cosmic and Suddenly Something Really Interesting creator Garry Mclaughlin sent us this lovingly-rendered Jonbot, resplendent in red slippers and backed up with some funky wallpaper! Nice.

Colin: Team Girl Comic editor Gill Hatcher won me and Neil over with this cracking Martha pin-up, because no-one likes Martha except me, Neil and presumably Gill. Thanks Gill!

Colin: Mark Austin blew us away with this inspired prequel to one of our earliest strips, and got bonus points for sourcing the correct font (LetterOMatic!) and nailing Jonbot’s personality with one line of dialogue. Mark, you win second prize! Congratumawelldones!

Which means the winner is:

Neil:  Hoooooolly shit, nobody has ever made Jonbot look quite so badass! And if you click the picture it actually moves! I’m gonna have to give the first prize to Lewis Mcdonald. Well done you’ve got yourself some original Jonbot artwork :) give yourself a pat on the back. (pssst want a job?)

Thanks to all that entered, we’ll be in touch with the winners!


I See Your True Colours, and That’s Why I Love You

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Colin: Hey, we’re colour again! DON’T GET TOO USED TO IT.

There’s one instalment left in The Beard Saga – that’s coming up next week!

Also next week: our first birthday!

Also next week: the results of our art giveaway competition! The results were stunning, thanks to all that entered!

The week after that, Neil and I will be taking a “well-earned” “rest”, but don’t worry – in place of your weekly dose of JVsM, you’ll be getting TALES OF JONBOT VS MARTHA - a whole month of guest strips from our comic creating pals across the globe. We might even have enough to go twice weekly! Hoots!

Don’t forget: FACEBOOK PAGE


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